gotitforcheap:

they should change the part in the wedding ceremony where at the end you go “until death do us part” to “even in death in heaven or whatever afterlife you believe in, we’re still together” because I don’t want to die and get to heaven and find out my wife is now my ex wife because of the til death do us part bullshit and she’s dating some fucking guy named Todd? really that guy? the guy whose favourite film is fight club? you know what fuck you Karen

bouguereaux:

we have reached the year in which there will be no more waiting. 

all my life has been spent in anticipation of some future point, some unspecified time at which this will be better and something will be different and everything will make more sense. that point does not exist. i know that now.

or rather: that point exists, and i have reached it, and i will never stop reaching it. the air was clearer today than it had been in a long time, like even the earth was starting over. the shadows pooled on the mountains with a new decisiveness.

for just one second, look at your life and see how perfect it is. stop looking for the next secret door that is going to lead you to your real life…this is it: there’s nothing else. it’s here, and you’d better decide to enjoy it or you’re going to be miserable wherever you go, for the rest of your life, forever. lev grossman.

my life is perfect. i still can’t drive. i don’t always feel like i belong at the school i currently attend. i sleep curled up so small that some mornings i wake up sore. and it will not get better than this. i’ll learn to drive, i’ll make the best of this school and maybe even transfer to a different one, i’ll sleep on my back more often. but by then something else will be wrong, something else will be far-off, and i’ll be frustrated in different ways and distracted by different petty shit, and my life will still be perfect.

my life is perfect because it exists. the value of my life is manifested in its existence. it’s a recursive statement – ‘it matters that i am alive because i am alive.’ but recursive logic is generally reserved for absolutes, and what could be more absolute than the experience of living?

there is so much good in my life. there is so much good that it cannot be listed or explained. the good will evolve. be tested, grow deeper. there is no zenith. the good in my life will always be there if i am willing to look.

i’m reading james p carse. a finite game is played with the intention of winning the game; an infinite game is played with the intention of keeping the game in play. i do not know what will occur in this year, in my life. i look forward to it. but whatever happens is not an end.

where there is no end, there can be no waiting. if i am not waiting, i have no reason to reject the absoluteness of my own life, the irreducibility of living in the world.

this is all a very roundabout and abstract way of saying that even the longest life must be maneuvered day by day. that even the deepest love can only be expressed one day at a time.

and that i am ready.

beautiful